"I’m in love with this girl named Sheena – it’s not her real name, I think that it’s something like Gudrun or Gretchen or something… She is really trying hard to de-Germanize herself; well I’d do the same if I were her…
Usually Krauts, when they try to go Yank, go for cowboy hats; have you noticed when you travel abroad, the only people with cowboy hats are Germans! When you land in Bangkok or Acapulco, the loudmouth red-faced guys in short pants and cowboy hats that go straight to the bar always ask for a Maßkrug ov Bier… Sure, we have some guys like that back in the US of A, but they don’t have the right to leave the country – for those who even know there are other countries out there – unless we’re invading one of course…
Well, Sheena is smarter than this – she’s a Berliner. No, not a doughnut, a German refugee who fled to Berlin to escape her sorry fate of getting fatter Oktoberfest after Oktoberfest, and worshiping a dead octopus as the enlightened leader of the country. In Berlin she can meet refugees from all over the world – Americans who realized they can understand better how the president of Iran is elected than their own, Italians who after struggling against fascism and the mafia for decades ended up with both at the head of their government, Frenchies who in protest of having the best food, the sexiest women, the shortest working hours and the best welfare system elected someone to destroy it all, so they can complain even more…
As long as you are white, Berlin is a good place for refugees, if you keep off the currywursts of course – you know, these bits of processed dead meat so yucky that they have to conceal the taste with cheap ketchup and fake curry… The local motto is “we’re poor but sexy” – that’s a good reason not to bother getting rich like the other morons out there, and this is the right place for survivors, artists and parasites. But you know, there are worse things than poor parasites: rich parasites! You can’t send 2500 riot cops to clear Charlottenburg like they did in Friedrischhain…
Anyway, in Berlin they also have the only museum in the world dedicated to the Ramones, and this brings us back to Sheena, because it’s Sheena I’m busy with, and came to tell you about, Ladies and Gentlemen… Aaah, sweet lovely sexy little Sheena… A petite but built chick with steel muscles and tits, but a pussy like a daifuku – you know, these Japanese cakes that are super soft but firm, that you feel like keeping pressed on your lips and tongue for ever… She used to trim her bush really short, with hair just on the labia and a shaved belly, and she has a wild mullet, like the chick from that South-African hip-hop band – I don’t know what’s up with me, I’m going all geographical, must be away from the States for too long!
Sheena is a complicated one I can tell you, because she loves girls but she loves cocks too. How she loves cocks… You know, I love cocks too, but she LOVES cocks! But then why fuck chicks you’ll ask? Well, she loves tits too! Then why fuck me, you ask? Well fuck you, that’s not the point. She also loves pussy, and says - smart girl – that it’s easier for a chick to have a dick than for a man to have a pussy. And that it’s actually easier to love a woman than to love a man – that makes sense!
But she has also a whole theory about how two girls fucking each other in the ass with big dildos might reach the acme of human essence, free of enslaving procreation and gender and stuff, and lead to the epiphanic birth of the tantric hermaphrodite – or was it platonic? Anyway, by combining then a non-genital sexual act with physical penetration, you embody the sublimation of life force via human psyche and somehow fight the cosmic entropy at stake in the reproduction/death cycle – pussy being supposed to provide a un-actualized potential counterpoint, thus combining both fulfillment and frustration – though you can also use your fingers and… Well I didn’t understand everything, I’m no good with theory, but I could catch up with practice…
Yeah, Sheena got some brains when she moved to Berlin, where she found plenty of other dykes hanging out in gemütlichen cafés sitting in front of organic soy lattes and eager to listen to her philosophical sexual speculations for hours – and possibly help her in her research process. Some days it gets her so excited that she can’t stop talking about it, so usually I have her lick my pussy to shut her up, but she still wants to talk so it goes like: “Mmmmmh… In the process for hysterizing gender, you can appropriate…. Mmmmmh… the innervation of the anal region exceeds the one of the genital…. Mmmmmh… so you can invert the domination relation by adopting a Gnostic point of view… Mmmmmh… the phallic cult still vivid today in Japan existed in pre-Roman Etruria…. Mmmmmh”. That makes me crazy! Calm down, people!
But Sheena has a big flaw: she’s an unfaithful little whore… Oh, not unfaithful to me, this I could handle, and I’m not a saint myself – well you know what I mean, hey, little miss, how you been since last night? No, she’s been unfaithful to her regular girlfriend, and I was on the side, until they patched it up, and suddenly I was out of the picture… Me, out of the picture! Not the first time I’ve been the mistress – though I usually prefer to be the Maîtresse – but this time I fell in love with this little bastard, and my heart is broken into pieces. So after all, this story is not so funny…"
